Pull the Rug Right Out From Under You

For those of you who read Vanessa's blog, you'll already have learned that my grandfather passed away last Thursday. Mom called at 6:30 in the morning to tell me, just as I was putting my shoes on to go to work. I had stayed home from work on Wednesday, because I was feeling really crappy, almost like I was getting the flu. So, after talking to Mom, even though I didn't want to, I felt I had to go to work. The bus ride downtown was a nightmare. I pretty much couldn't stop crying. Not sobbing mind you, but certainly a steady stream of tears. It was pretty embarassing, but I couldn't really help it. Good thing it wasn't my usual bus. =)

By the time I got to work, I had calmed down enough that I was okay. I managed to make it thr0ugh most of the day without having a complete breakdown. After I talked to Dad, I had to make a beeline for the bathroom, and again after I talked to Mom before she left for Denmark.

And then of course the timing thing that Vanessa talked about. Rene, our wedding photographer called and said that the copy of the engagement picture we ordered was ready. This was the picture that we rushed to get printed, because Mom said we should hurry because she didn't think Morfar would be with us much longer. Go figure.

So I was pretty much a basket case on Thursday. I didn't tell anyone at work about it, because I'm one of those people that doesn't do well with sympathy. It just seems to upset me more, and then they think I'm really upset and they gush more sympathy, and on and on and on.

Friday was better. I was able to think about Morfar without bursting into tears, and I could actually talk about it with Nathan's mom too.

I suppose it wasn't completely unexpected, but things like this certainly have a way of sending you topsy turvy. I'm glad Nathan got to meet all my relatives this summer, even if the engagement picture didn't get to them before Morfar passed away.

I will always remember Morfar as a gentle man with a wicked sense of humour. He constantly had a twinkle in his eye, the twinkle that Nathan says I inherited. He was a wonderful grandfather, despite the barriers of distance and language, and I will love him always.